I have been married for 10 years and in the last few years I feel my husband does not listen to me or give me the attention I deserve. He is always doing 2 or 3 things and once and I feel he doesn't pay much attention to what I want. I shout and scream at him but he doesn't listen. How can I make him pay attention to me?

 

Dear Lisa

I know how frustrating it can be like to feel as though you are not being "heard". This is a basic human emotion as we all crave attention. It's also important that your opinions are heard and that you feel that your husband is giving you the attention you seem to crave from him.

I wonder if you are talking to him at a time when he seems to be at his busiest. Often it's a matter of choosing a quieter moment when you wish to discuss something that's important to you and not when you know he is at his busy or distracted. I know it might be annoying, and sometimes impatience gets the better of us when we wish to be heard. Try picking a quieter time to have that important conversation you want to with him.

And as for shouting and screaming, I really don't think that will achieve what you intend it to achieve. All it will do is frustrate you and alienate your husband.

Often we look to fix someone else and actually the simpler more effective solution maybe fixing the way we approach that person.